You've Got a Friend

I have been distracted lately, so writing has gotten difficult for me the past few days. Usually, the words pour out of me like water from a faucet, but recently, I notice I am having a much more difficult time. Whom shall I spot light today? I wondered to myself. There I was rattling around in my own head when it occurred to me that maybe I was trying too hard. Maybe, just maybe the answer was right in front of me and I was "over thinking" it. It wouldn't be the first time that has happened. Matter of fact, I tend to do that more often than not. I took several deep breaths and allowed my mind to wander and think of all the people I admire and would want to highlight. My answer was as obvious as the nose on my face, which is not at all hard to spot.
Today I want to write about friends. The people I admire the most are my friends. My friends and I am certain, yours too, are the people we depend on the most, trust with our darkest secrets and allow our hearts to accept, warts and all. My best friends are amazing people with incredible lives made up of resiliency, passion and intelligence. My friends have changed my life in every way imaginable. They are my family by choice. They are the ones who have talked me off the ledge when things got really bad. They showed me unconditional love and forgiveness when I was deserving of neither. They are the strongest threads that have held my life together creating a rich tapestry that I am in awe of every day of my life.
I think we are all guilty of taking our family for granted, that they will love us and be with us no matter what we do or where we end up, but friends have the choice and the ability to walk away when we fail miserably, act out or fall apart. Mine have been there for me every step of the way. Mine have held my hand, allowed me to cry from the depths of my soul and confessed their own horrifying actions in order for to learn from their experiences in order to spare me any unnecessary pain, if possible. My friends have traveled the world, seen unbelievable pain and triumph and shared these moments with me due to their generous nature. Friends are what keep us going when we feel the entire world is on our shoulders.
I feel so lucky to have my friends for all these years. I have known most of them either all of my life or most of my life. My friends accept exactly who I am with no expectations forced onto me to become something different. They celebrate me in a way that allows me to see myself through their eyes. It is the greatest gift I have ever been given. They have acted as minister, counselor, cheerleader, parent, child and conscience. They motivate me to be a better person, pushing me to be mindful that the work is over the moment I take my last breath and not one minute before. If it is true that my family is my foundation, then truly these friends of mine are my walls and roof, sheltering me from the cold. They have protected and guarded me many, many times and there are not enough "thank yous" to express how important they have been to my life and the lives of my children. I never questioned if something were to happen to me whether or not they would step up and do the important job of teaching my kids in my stead. I have always known that if I were no longer around , my kids would have remarkable people to help them in any way they could. Here or not, my kids would have learned about their mother and her morals, ethics and beliefs, thanks to her band of friends she held tightly in her heart.
When Danny died I realized how important it was to say what needed to be said to the people we love. I have worked diligently at telling people in my life, "Thank you, I love you, I couldn't have done it without you", because we never know when we won't have that opportunity again. My friends know how important they are to me because I tell them as often as I can. Not everybody gets to write a book naming their friends. I have been so fortunate to have that. For all my faults, and listen, we don't have the kind of time it would take to list all of them, the one thing I am most proud of is the change I made in telling people I love, just how much I appreciate all they have done for me and my family.
In that spirit, I think today we should tell our friends just exactly how grateful we are to have them. Call your friends just to say "I love you, thank you, you mean the world to me". Spend a moment and think about all the times your friends were there for you, even when they may have not known that their phone call changed your entire day. Send a note, card or flowers. Let them know that you are so very happy that they chose you.
To Christy, Bitsy, Shelly, Jerry and Jim: Thank you for all the days and nights when I felt alone and you reminded me that I was loved whether I felt it or not. For all the times you made me laugh when I had spent much of the day crying, for every time you reminded me that nothing is forever and I could be anything I wanted. For believing in me when I had all but given up. For spending time with my children showing them first hand what a real friend looks and acts like and for teaching them loyalty, honor and love. For choosing me to love. It has been an honor and a privilege being in your lives all these years.
To my hometown friends who I have recently gotten back: thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the love and support you shot my way as I start this new leg of my journey. For forgiving my childish past and applauding my adult growth. For every FB gift, comment and joke. For being my connection to my past in a way that allows me to continue growing, learning and laughing.
To my very best friend and husband Michael: Thank you for every time you propped me up, so I could be a better mother, woman, wife and friend. For loving me so much you made me a part of your family. For telling me everyday without hesitation how much you love me and celebrating who I am in whatever state I happen to be in. I love you more than words allow.
If you are reading this, then you and I are on this journey together. If you need a hug or some support or even a little prayer, just say the word and know I have your back.