My Personal Goodbye to The Oprah Show

I started watching Oprah the minute she hit the national stage. I got married in 1986 to Danny, the two of us so optimistic, so hopeful about the future, because that’s what weddings are about, hope. I was working downtown Cleveland, Ohio, riding the bus every day, in a strange town, with no friends or family except my husband and his friends and family. On the days I could watch, I took in the information she gave, I watched everyday people deal with their dilemmas, learning lessons from others life’s experiences. In 1988 I gave birth to our first child, a girl, whom I doted on twenty four hours a day except one, the one I would sit and cradle her in my arms watching The Oprah Show. As years went on we had more children, Danny worked more and more hours and I was left at home alone to raise our children. Oprah became my sanctuary, my time of peace, learning and allowing the feeling that I was not so alone.
I had Betty in 1992. I went under not knowing if I would ever wake up, when I did, I was a completely different person, not be able to read or write or remember even the simplest things. My time in the afternoon watching the show helped me hang on; it helped me to sort my thoughts again. Eventually I would be able to function again, but in the interim the show reminded me that I was so lucky to be alive.
Danny began drinking and it was completely destructive, devastating me, leaving me feeling unsafe, unloved, and unacknowledged. The Oprah Show was my safe harbor during those tough times. Little did I know how much I would later come to depend on that hour to maintain my sanity which would skirt the edge at times, where I was feeling so desperate I contemplated taking my own life. The divorce felt like it should kill me, yet I kept waking up having to face the utter loss of everything I thought I knew. During my divorce I dropped out of society, except for work. Remember when you were taught if you had nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything? Well, I had nothing nice to say, so I stayed home, doing what I called “rolling up the sidewalks and pulling the blinds”. My divorce was one of the most painful things I have had to endure. With Oprah on at 4:00 PM, I could keep my mouth shut and just listen. I could learn without ever leaving my house. I could feel as though I were a part of something without having to interject my negativity.
In what seemed like a flash in time, Danny was gone. This time I really was alone to raise our kids. Grief stricken, I fell into a deep depression where the only thing I felt certain about was how unhappy I was and what I could look forward to at four o’clock. In the nineties Oprah had changed her show to include how to get through the really tough times, how to find peace and personal happiness. Even though I had been to therapy, I got so much out of watching every day, her unravel someone else’s problems on her stage with a take away moment that kept me from feeling completely isolated.
I have made no secret about how lucky I was to marry Michael. He is without a doubt my favorite human being on earth. I am not sure if I hadn’t done the work, getting my own act together, if I could have received such a gift. Part of that was learning to how to get to the person I wanted to be rather than the person others saw or projected on me. I felt like my time with Oprah had been well spent, learning what I could, when I could.
We moved to Houston, Texas from Cleveland, Ohio in 2004. It was an eye opening experience for me. The cultural differences were vast, the weather was an enormous hurdle to adjust to, and our family and friends were twelve hundred miles away. O.K., so now you know what is coming, yeah, the first thing I did was find The Oprah Show, so I could watch. The funny thing for me was she was on at guess when? Yep, she was on at four o’clock right here in Houston. In the time we have lived here, and it’s been almost seven years now, I have had jobs, lost careers, raised the kids, sent them off to college, and moved several times, all with the help, connection, guidance and company of my friend Oprah. My personal tradition continued here in Texas.
In 2008 I got the rare opportunity to be in a taped segment on her show. I showed how to make cocoa cones as a cheap gift for her Favorite Things recession show. It was later considered a flop, but I got to be on, so as far I am concerned it was a huge success. It would have never occurred to me that I would have such a joyous opportunity, but there it was, a tailor made opportunity for my very frugal behind.
As my writing went from private to public, I continued to take my union break at four o’clock, to spend a few minutes with my longtime friend, The Oprah Show. It was my time to forget how scared I was, as I let go of the constraints of my own limited perception of who I was and who I could be. I watched others on her show take great leaps of faith in order to achieve their dreams. I borrowed their bravery and decided it was time to get going.
Today will be the last time Oprah and I will be together at four o’clock. I know some have no investment in this farewell, but I really do. Did The Oprah Show change my life? Certainly, it did. Had I not seen women leave damaging and abusive relationships, I might have very well perished in one. Had I not witnessed others speak of their dreams coming true, I might never have believed it for myself. Had I not taken a meager hour to stop and rest, I may have ground myself into dust trying to do the impossible with next to nothing. The Oprah Show did change my life for the better, in more ways than I can count.
I am not sad at her leaving today. She has earned her retirement from her daytime talk show. I watched her make uncounted sacrifices for her viewers and we her viewers, helped keep her going. My four o’clock will never be the same. But I am in my own new chapter, doing a job that takes up so much time, so much energy, that I am busy doing more living than watching. I will miss my time with Oprah, the moments I saw such heartbreak, a mere box of Kleenex wasn’t enough, watching things so funny, I nearly fell off my couch. My house warming gift for this, our new house was a T.V., so I could cook and watch Oprah at the same time.
Oprah did well by me, taking each show, thinking about the viewer, her responsibility to us and herself. I feel like in some ways all these years spent with her have brought me to this very place in my life when we both get to walk into the sunset and be who we were born to be. I would certainly not be the woman I am if not for the opportunities to learn so much, in such an accessible way.
So, from me to Oprah: Thank you for all the years you stood by your viewers taking such great care to help us along on our journeys. Thank you for being aware of the world stage you had, showing regard, respect and love for those who stuck by you. This has been a wonderful ride. I have enjoyed every minute I have spent with you. As I ready myself for the next chapter of my life, I know good things come to those who open their minds and their hearts, so I have no doubt your next chapter will be wonderful, too. I feel the love, too.
As for what I will do at four o’clock from now on? Well, whatever it is, it will be something just for me, because the greatest lesson I learned is I am worth an hour a day to love, honor and cherish.