My Wedding Day

Ahhh, another Valentine's Day has rolled around. What to do, what to do? Mike and I haven't really spent time together since his job change. He sits engrossed in his books while I sit and just be gross. With so many people inhabiting our smaller home, it is nearly impossible to have time and space to be romantic. We are conserving funds and staying in , many of the nights we are home together. Trying to make something out of today is a little like fashioning a dress out of paper. It may look lovely but one inch too close to a candle and the whole thing goes up in flames.
Our big plans are to go into our room and hide. We might splurge and have a glass of wine versus the bottomless whining we have done over the past week.
I had thought I might not blog today, since Mike and I are currently "stranged". I don't want to say estranged, because that sounds too much like we are separated, which we are most definitely not. However, since we don't see each other much and interact with each other even less, I think the "stranged" fits perfectly.
It's strange for us to be apart this long. It's strange for us not to be laughing at something ridiculous in the evenings, sitting together, holding hands, sitting close, always touching.
Today isn't a huge deal for me, neither are anniversaries. I am not that girl. I care more about the daily stuff, where he takes the pressure off and makes the worst jokes that crack me up. I like when he buys me cards, flowers, that sort of thing, but I love it more when he whispers in my ear, rubs my feet when we watch T.V., walks the dogs with me, helps with the dishes, sneaks up behind me when I am cooking in the kitchen. I am more an everyday kinda gal. My confession is, I don't remember our anniversary. I rarely put any emphasis on days like today. I am more guy than girl in this case. Mike is proven to me. He has bought cards, celebrated our love, bought me shiny baubles. We have been there, done that and worn the silly thing out. I am a romantic at heart. I like romance, and given the opportunity, can do it well. This year, though, because of all the changes I want something more practical, like an hour of his time to just be together. I would rather have him home, than out buying the perfect card.
I was thinking back to our wedding day. I never dreamed of a big wedding. I didn't want all the fuss. I was never the one who liked all the frills, big puffy gowns, and a thousand people I barely knew to show up with gifts in hand. I didn't have a wedding pattern for dishes, desire cut crystal, or make arrangements for doves to fly off anywhere. I actually wanted to get married somewhere it was just the two of us. For not being a big wedding person, I have now had two. They were lovely, I guess, but since I had no want for them, I have no appreciation for how they turned out. No one died, got mortally injured or had to be removed, so I guess they were a success.
Mike and I had a second wedding day very few know about. It was his wedding gift to me. Nearly a year after the "formal wedding" I asked Michael if we could do it my way. He very willingly agreed to marry me all over again, but this time it was Michael, me and a priest with a single camera with a timer. I wore the dress from our rehearsal, carried a dozen pink roses, and he wore a simple suit. It was late afternoon, the kids had a sitter and we sneaked off to the church, stood in front of the priest and said our own vows. We put the self timed camera on top of the pew and ran to the front for our "wedding photo". We went to our favorite restaurant, fed each other, drank wine, laughed, talked and touched each others hands. We then took a walk in the cold night air down the pier to watch the sunset.
It was in this moment, I knew I would love him forever. I had said and done all that was expected of me as the "formal Bride", but it was when it was just him and me that my wedding wish had come true. This smaller more intimate moment was when I truly felt like a bride.
Tonight Mike will come from work, exhausted by all he has to learn for his new job. His face will show one more wrinkle, his eyes will look red and tired. I will have spent the day catching up on house work, writing and laundry. But I have a plan. Tonight we will hide away from all the cares and stress of the day, sipping wine, eating fresh fruit, talking and laughing together, just as we did on MY wedding day. Tonight will be about our minds and bodies catching up to what our hearts have known for a very long time. We need each other. We want to be together, two minds, hearts and souls melding together to form our perfect union.
Whatever your plans, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. It is what you want to make it. I plan on making mine one a of the many days, I steal my husband away for a few moments, just to have him all to myself.