Falling Down

Michael and I went out to eat to celebrate his victory of passing a final for work. It is one of many tests he will have to pass to continue his journey in the airline world. His new position is tough, stressful and constant. His training has been grueling. For six weeks he has had to go to work seemingly on a whim, at whatever hour the trainer dictates, studying at home, spending countless hours on the computer and buried in books. It's been a tough six weeks for me also. I have to figure out a way of living without the man to whom I have been so dependent on for the last decade. This is only the beginning of the sacrifices we will have to make in order for us to survive the merger of his company. I am using this time as a test, to see if I can live without him when he gets transferred to Chicago. I know, in my heart, we will figure what is best for us, our family, if moving or hanging on here in Houston will be the right thing to do. I think back, often these days, of the time when I was alone raising the kids. It is not so long ago that I was lonely, scared and bored, getting by with no one to make me laugh, or cry for that matter.
Last night was not about what we still have to face, but rather, what we have already accomplished. Mexican food and margaritas seemed to be in order. Without fanfare or formal dress, we headed out to restaurant here in our little burg. It sits in the middle of our town, by a park. We go there because fo the outside seating, bistro style, sipping cool drinks watching families walk and kids play in the neighboring park. We had been seated at the bar, just talking, holding hands, waiting patiently for a table to open up when our buzzer went off and it was time to go meet the hostess. She walks us outside to a table at the end of the sidewalk. People are talking, laughing eating, everything seemed as it should when I notice a police car and ambulance. I asked the hostess if she knew what happened.

"A group of kids were playing, hanging out, when a big group of them beat up a single kid.Someone called the cops. The kids took off, the kid was pretty bloody."

Michael and I had just said how nice it was to see everyone out, enjoying the park, right before this happened. In a matter of moments, everything went to hell in a hand basket. I watched an adult male speak to the police, while the injured kid continued to wipe the blood from his mouth. I plopped in my seat, shaking my head.

I can't help feeling we fallen from grace recently, with all the violence that is deepening, anger getting stronger, while compassion dwindles. I don't remember the sheer volume of attacks of young people on each other when we were young. Maybe I have selective memory, but the bloody violent behavior seems to be on the rise. It used to feel to me that the sight of blood or someone falling was shocking, putting fear into those involved. Now it is internet fodder used as a source of entertainment.

I know me and was grateful I didn't witness the attack. I would have surely lost my own temper, grabbing as many offenders as I could. I tend to react rather than worry about my own personal safety when it comes to teenage bad behavior. One day I have no doubt I will live to regret my lack of timing. This time I sat watching this boy, beaten and clearly embarrassed, talk to the authorities about the incident which I am certain will emotionally scar him much longer than the bloodied lip he
sustained.

We have fallen as a society, to be sure. The lack of respect for ourselves, each other, for life in general. As much as I wish it weren't true, the facts too often times are right in front of me. As hopeful as I am about the future, I can no longer dismiss what is clearly a falling out of decency. There is a television show I refuse to watch based on internet clips, most of which someone is getting hurt or sick. I don't blame the show for what is happening, but it is the product of the environment in which we live. If some idiot hadn't plastered the clips on the internet, the show would not exist. The problem is where the line is drawn. Currently, there is no line, so my question is where do we plan to put it? If anything is fair game as acceptable behavior, or at the very least entertainment, when does that become exploitation of real human suffering? When do we as adults, human beings, step in and say, "No. Enough. This has gone too far" ?

I am well aware that I am considered old and out of the loop. I have considered my age as a deterrent from being cool. But I think we have fallen away from cool with this too. Cool used to be original, unusual, interesting, talented, smart. Now its more seedy, celebrities made from sex tapes, exclusive clubs and stepping on everyone to get ahead.
What's the answer to this? I have no idea. I teach people all the time to be kinder, more compassionate, but the growing ideal that it is archaic to think that
is is louder than anything I have to say. For now, I am merely looking for a parachute until someone smarter than me comes up with a better answer.