Congratulate Me, I Retired.

I have been incredibly lucky in my life. I know there are enough times it looks like three legged dog "lucky", but all in all, I think I have managed to do well.
One of the greatest things I have been afforded is to be a mom. I am not sure why I was trusted with this particular life event, but I tend not to question it, lest the big guy upstairs re-think the matter. Let's just say, if it ain't broke...
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. For me it was one of those things like when someone is sure they want to be a doctor, or nun. I knew it was what I wanted from the time I was born. Having four children isn't easy. It was easier when they were little and I could set them down and know for certain they would be there when I got back from the bathroom. I have often thought what a great idea a teenage playpen would be, but I think it would resemble a cage too much, so I doubt if that would ultimately fly.
I miss the days when they were little. I was surrounded by dirty diapers, plastic table settings with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Cinderella and the like. It was our fancy dinnerware, for special occasions. Each place setting had matching silverware, with place mats that were coated in plastic for easy cleaning. Every cup in the house had a lid, which for those rare occasions when I could have a cocktail made it convenient, so I wouldn't spill. My days were consumed with pre-school, macaroni art, baking cookies that matched the latest holiday, and laundry, lots and lots of laundry. I washed my own diapers, so having three in, made my washer groan from the strain.
Mike and I cleaned the house in about an hour yesterday. I felt really good that it was done, but sat stunned that it only took an hour. I remember when just running the vacuum used to take three hours because of the constant refereeing, separating of kids, or moving baby seats, cribs, toys and those rolly walkers out of the way. Picking up after four kids under the age of 5 took every ounce of energy I had. Having someone over to the house meant they, too, had to step over the constant kid droppings. I stopped apologizing after kid #3. Even that took too much effort to deal with.
I was thinking back to the time I had to take the kids to the grocery store with me. I would have the newest baby strapped to my front, one in belted in the seat in the front of the cart and the other two sitting in the actual cart part on their coats. I would have to get a second cart just for food. There I was wielding my way through the isles, talking to the kids who were misbehaving at the time, or anxious for their freedom, cooing to the baby, reminding the one sitting in the front to sit down or they would be put in the corner until they were 18. I juggled coupons, the list, the baby and carried a purse the size of small condo, so I could throw suckers, crackers or cheerios at whoever whined the loudest. Older mom's would stop and talk for only minute because they knew every second counted in that trip.
I remember birthday theme parties. We have had everything from army guys to princess parties to squirt gun fights. I always made the cake, myself, decorating it with toys, icing and the ever present sprinkles. We played every game I could think of, in order for the time to go faster for me, because I had invited more kids to an already full house. It was true, that my kids were a walking birthday party in their own right, but that never seemed to be enough, we always had to invite kids who had no siblings or few brothers and sisters, so they would see us as more circus act than family. I can't tell you how many times I had to explain how we lived to children and adults who should have known better. "Why is your fridge so full?" "Why are there so many beds in your house?" "Why do have three car seats in your van?" And my personal favorite from other moms, "HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?"
Many women would ask if I were done having kids, as if I had no self control and needed to go to rehab for fertile women. I would then tell them yes, I was done, and I had lost two of my children who died before they were born. That usually stopped the question and answer portion of the program. I had wanted six children. I had the opportunity to carry six children, two of which did not make it early on. I have always thought they are in heaven with Danny keeping him safe and loved, in a reunion of souls.
Yesterday, Mike and I were cleaning, hanging out together and laughing our heads off as we sipped multiple mojitos. We grow our own mint just for this occasion. The kids were scattered all over town, at jobs, school friends, whatever. They don't tell me and to be perfectly honest, since they are old enough to know better, I don't ask. When they were in high school I used to tell them I was so far up their butts, if someone wanted a family photo they would have to do a colonoscopy on them. Now, I mind my own business unless I see a reason to interfere. So there we were drinking, laughing, having a wonderful time just the two of us. Michael asked if the kids should be here. "No, it's OK. I knew they would be busy. I am just enjoying this."
And that is the truth. I am enjoying not knowing everything all the time. I am taking the time to be with Michael and me, the two of us, without kids arguing, taking my seat or telling me stories I should NEVER hear.
I have no idea what will happen tomorrow for Mother's Day, except Michael and I went shopping for my breakfast ingredients. I opted for steak, eggs, hash browns, fresh strawberries, orange juice and espresso. If they show up,great! If they opt out, well, then I will continue having a great day. I have had lots of mother's days, small case letters. I have watched their first steps, and their big missteps. I have taught them to tie their shoes and drive cars. I have talked until we were both blue in the face, about life, love and respect.
This year I am celebrating the end of an era. I have had an exceptional run here, as the mayor of crazy town. God handed me a job I had wanted my entire life. This year He is giving me my "gold watch" and allowing me to retire, from the heavy lifting. I am very happy to step down and let my kids take over the reigns to their lives. So tomorrow I will be doing what others do when they have a retirement party rather than a traditional Mother's day, eating, sleeping in, drinking, playing loud music and making plans to buy that camper that sleeps two I have been eyeballing since 1992.